“Life is what happens to you
While you’re busy making other plans”
Beautiful Boy, Sir John Lennon
Where does your mind take you when you find that sweet spot to decompress? For me that is obtained after the first paced first mile of a run, a few moments into walking along the Lake Michigan shoreline on my lunch break at work, ten minutes into a soothing end of day bath, or even while I’m trying to shut my eyes on the day. It’s that moment of clarity that sweeps over your brain like an ominous and abrupt fog. Lately, my mind has been prompting, more like teasing me with, “Write, Kate, Write!”
Write? About what? I help patients needing insurance apply for Medicaid often and when I do I ask them, “paint me picture of the last 30 days, that’s what the office will be looking at.” My last 30 days have been a shit show–why the hell would I want to write about that? May be its time to open up, not hide in the sweet spots I crave to calm my mind down or even seek out to find some zen on a hectic work day.
I know why I want to become more aloof, mysterious, and untransparent.
I turn 39 in about 48 hours and boy…that is hitting me a bit harder than I care to admit. I remember a family friend/cousin once telling me the “9’s” were her hardest years. It was the last year of a decade and she disliked those birthdays more than the often celebrated milestone ones.
It’s this thing we do, this image of what we think life should in our minds. I thought at this age my cravings for sweet spots would be to decompress from work, minivan leases, daycares, mortgage payments and how to be a good partner or wife. I had written my life out early in my 20s and believe me when I say I thought I had it all figured out.
They say God will humble us when we need it. I have certainly been humbled the last month; even year of my life.
So now what? When the fairytale we paint in our mind is over…where should I go?
I would have to say you go with grit, grace and humility towards the next day. Soak in those sweet spots where you mind directs and listen to that internal prompting of what your next step should be. Find what fuels that God sized hole we were all born with. Turn down an extra street, pace out another mile, eat the ice cream and all that lovely stuff.
And for me ;I will embark on writing more and listening to my inner self. We all get these one long rambling lives that are actually broken up into hours, days, and weeks to break things down.
So just for today, at 38.9895959595 I will write, breathe, and talk another walk.
This is almost 39…here we go!
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Author: toughasteal
Kate Weber is a woman who dreamed up the concept "tough as teal" while recovering from her own sexual assault in Fall 2015. Teal is the color of Sexual Assault Awareness and Ovarian Cancer (both have effected her in her personal life.)Tough as Teal is a mindset of being strong and a streak she proudly wears in her hair. Her goal is to use her voice, blog, and personal teal streak to broaden awareness of sexual violence. She believes, "you have to make people comfortable with the uncomfortable." Kate is a graduate of Michigan State University and has spent the majority of her career working within Higher Education. These areas included the following:
off campus and on campus housing, overseeing academic dishonestly, coordinating academic integrity grievances, hearing, and appeals for all colleges at Michigan State University, working with STAR scholarship students, mass training for University employees, managing her own staff of 50-100 students within the Residence Halls, administrative work with the Vice President and Provost's office, devising training curriculum, serving on the Brody Neighborhood Core Team (Engagement Center liason), retention planning, safety and security work and more.
Kate's first hand work with student employees, coupled with her own experience as a traditional and non-traditional student put her primary passion to be involved with college students. Statistics show alarming rates of sexual violence on college campuses and Kate passionately continues to advocate to end this statistic.
Besides building her own personal toughasteal brand, Kate enjoys public speaking. She has received a national award from Toastmasters International and is putting her talent to work with the Mid-Michigan Survivor's Speaker's Bureau. She has affiliations in Pennsylvania with "Voices of Hope", national organization "Still Standing", and is a guest blogger/podcast participant for Open Thought Vortex (committed to giving a voice to victims.)
Kate is also in recovery for alcoholism. She believes being honest about her own struggles and healing can help other women come forward with their own stories. Healing is not linear and there is power in speaking with one another. Recovery is a daily process to take one day at a time!
Kate is looking forward to expanding her philanthropic passions to her educational pursuits in the upcoming years. She is available for speaking engagements or you are welcome to connect with her on Twitter @katers513 or toughasteal@yahoo.com
Her personal interests are running, enjoying the Great Lakes of Michigan, reading, learning, a few Netflix shows, watching her beloved Spartans in all sports, and newfound motorcycle adventures with her boyfriend!
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