“Its the Most Brutiful Time of the Year”

So this is Christmas
And what have you done?
Another year over
And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong

And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let’s stop all the fight”

~John Lennon~ , “So This is Christmas”

Twinkle lights, shiny bulbs, snippets of Bing Crosby, UPS trucks round the clock, and sugar crashes to tide you over until the new millennium.  Ah, yes ladies and gentleman, its Christmas Time again! For so many of us Christmas and time with families can be brutal with a capital B. I like to refer to it as “brutiful” as one of my personal shero’s  Glennon Doyle does.

Glennon (yes I call her Glennon, because I like to fantisize we are already friends)’s explanation on the brutality of life are as follows. “Most days I decide to show up,  because I was right when I was little. Life is brutal. But it’s also beautiful. Brutiful, I call it. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated. Reject the brutal, reject the beauty. So now I embrace both, and I live well and hard and real.”

(Insert Mic Drop or A’Ha Moment.)

Among the tinsel and joys of the season I have been convicted lately. Despite the immense gratitude I have for my recovery, nearly 90 days of sobriety from alcohol at Christmas, and for the turnaround to my life as 2018 ends–I simply cannot escape and ignore all of the brutality around me. Instead of goodwill to all, there is literally a go fund me campaign going on capitalizing on the hypocrisy of “Making America Great Again.” This Christmas in America there will be children who go without, people who struggle with poverty and homelessness, sick without ability to be properly treated, veterans who need so much more than what is provided and addicts still suffering. Yet, we are going to put money in reserve  for a fictional wall built to keep people out instead of loving inviting them in and offering help. There is nothing great about this; its fucking brutal. Its the least Christ life thing I have heard of and yet those who donated will dress in their finest and smile at their neighbors in church on Christmas.

Seriously?

The beauty of my own recovery is that it allows me to break free from any masks or facades I once proudly displayed. It has given me the gift of realizing what things really matter to me. I am a woman steadfast in her faith, who will always stand up for what is right. I show up in the brutiful world out there. I show up and I am unafraid to stand up for what I believe in. Hell, I was tested just this morning by someone looking for a fight to prove his own agenda for greatness.  Christmas didn’t come so we could all pursue our own agendas, one up each other and oppress those others who have less than we do. God knows life is brutiful and can be very hard. Recovery is hard. Showing up is hard. Christmas is a time for us to remember the real reason of the season. I believe Jesus stood up for all of us and got more of the brutal end of the stick.  I do not believe Jesus would not contribute to making anything great again. Great is not a fruit of the spirit.

Peace and Harmony.

During this Christmas season I wish for you all to be able to enjoy this brutiful life with peace and harmony. Show up. Know you are enough. Know that no wall will keep you away from God’s love. Know you are worth it. Know you do not have to numb yourself from anything or live with conviction. Fight and continue to pray for the beauty. I know I will be.

One prayer at a time.

One day at a time.

One miracle in every mess.

 

Merry Christmas.

 

Love,

Kate

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